


Lost Boy

by 300lostdesert



Series: Blue Neighbourhood [1]
Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Mainly angst, Mutual Pining, Panic Attack, again Anna is shipper trash, some fluff eventually, somebody needs to stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:50:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/300lostdesert/pseuds/300lostdesert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max leaves again. </p><p>-------------------------</p><p>This is a fic that is part of a collection inspired by songs from Troye Sivan’s album Blue Neighbourhood. I feel like many of the songs in the album are easily related to Mad Max, specifically Max/Furiosa. These fics take place post-movie with an established or beginning Max/Furiosa relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve put the lyrics of the song that inspired this fic at the start, but here is a link to listen! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ITD0ryx8lQ
> 
> (also I’m on tumblr http://wastelandfool.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Happy reading!

_Lost Boy_

_As the smile fell from your face, I fell with it  
Our faces blue_ _  
__There's a heart stain on the carpet  
I left it, I left it with you_ _  
__Yeah, the truth is that I'm sorry  
Though I told you not to worry  
I'm just some dumb kid  
Trying to kid myself  
That I got my shit together_ _  
  
__So go, get to runnin', won't you hurry?_  
While it's light out, while it's early  
Before I start to miss any part of this  
And change my mind, whatever

(Chorus) _  
__I say I wanna settle down  
Build your hopes up like a tower  
I'm giving you the run around_ _  
__I'm just a lost boy  
Not ready to be found  
Not ready to be found  
I'm just a lost boy  
Not ready to be found_ _  
  
__I don't care much for locks on the window  
To keep me at bay_ _  
__I'll leave you one last kiss on your pillow  
Before I fly away  
Yeah we knew from the beginning  
That this wasn't never ending  
Shouldn't stay too long  
Cause we're both too young  
To give into forever_ _  
  
_ (Chorus) _  
  
__So what are you waiting for?_  
Cause someone could love you more  
I'm just a lost boy, lost boy  
So what are you waiting for?  
Cause someone could love you more  
I'm just a lost boy, lost boy  
So what are you waiting for?  
Cause someone could love you more  
I'm just a lost boy, lost boy  
So what are you waiting for?  
Cause someone could love you more  
I'm just a lost boy, lost boy

(Chorus)

_\-----------------------------------_

Max could picture her face as he drove away, sad but accepting. He hated that last part. He would almost prefer it if she was angry, it would be easier if she was angry, he would feel less guilty if she was angry. But she had never really been angry with him. Frustrated, sure, but never truly angry.

 

That was why he’d had to leave.

 

He speeds away from the Citadel. Away from the place where people have placed trust in him. Away from the place people care for him, where he cares for people.

 

He hates himself for letting it get to this point. He also hates that he had liked the way people had asked him how he was and seemed interested in the answer. He hates the way he would look forward to going to bed and sleeping curled up next to Furiosa. Hates the way she would ask him to come, tell him she wants him next to her, and that he would like doing this, feel good doing it.

 

He watches as the towers shrink behind him, smaller and smaller until he can’t see them anymore. He had thought it would make him feel better, less tense, less fidgety. But now he feels worse. He hears things that aren’t there, sees people long dead. His hands start to shake against the steering wheel and he has to stop. He wrenches the door open and spins around, boots on the hot hand, head cradled in his hands. He tries to breathe but his chest feels tight and constricted. His whole body shakes and he can feel bile rising in his throat. He throws up violently and next thing he knows he is lying in the sand, a pile of vomit not far from his head.

 

He feels ragged. Like is insides have been ripped out of his body. All he can see in his mind is dead bodies and his own hands, covered in blood. His fault. Always his fault. He can’t stop it. Nothing will stop it. He will always bring death and sadness.

 

He can’t breathe. There is sand in his mouth and eyes and nose and nothing is right. He can’t even move. He lies there in the sand forcing each breath in and out. He needs to keep moving but he can’t even pick up his head. If anyone came upon him right now he doesn’t think he could even put up a fight. He feels weak and shivery and _tired_.

 

He doesn’t know how long he lies there but eventually it starts to get darker and he knows he needs to move.

 

He hates himself for this. Every time he thinks that he has stopped always seeing his ghosts standing next to him, or hear them calling his name, they start up again. Like an endless cycle of torture.

 

Days later and he is truly alone. There isn’t a single person, animal, object or plant in sight. Only him and his car and the sand and the sky.

 

It calms him, but only slightly. He can’t stop picturing the Citadel crumbling into dust, or Furiosa’s dead body. He feels lost. Normally when things get bad again he spends time out in the Wastes where he feels better. Now he’s thinking that if he doesn’t feel better out here he might not feel better anywhere. Then his mind starts racing with possibilities of going back to the Citadel. He has no other ideas.

 

He gets back into his car and turns around, and slowly begins to make his way back. He tells himself it is just to check that it hasn’t crumbled away to nothing and that everyone there is fine, but he knows that that isn’t the true reason. The true reason, he thinks, is that maybe, just maybe, being surrounded by people who care for him might help. Maybe.

 

It takes him longer than he thought it would, he guesses he must have driven fast in the blur after he vomited.

 

When he makes it back he can see Furiosa look him up and down, checking for injuries. He notices she stops on his face, and he thinks she is looking at the bags under his eyes, which, impossibly, have worsened since he left. They move to each other and he almost collapses into her. Relief that all is well running through his body like clean water.

 

That night when they lie in bed curled around each other like normal, she tells him she missed him. He wants to tell her not to. He shouldn’t be missed. She shouldn’t spend her time waiting. He doesn’t want to make her hopeful. But he can’t stop it and he sees it in her face.

 

He is gone again the next day.

 


End file.
